1)How I Met Your Mother Finale Shocks everyone- No one saw this end coming. Remember the part in the How your mother met me episode where The Mother says "what are the chances we're both serial killers? That was no joke! The mother tricks everyone into thinking that she's this great person that ended poverty, when in reality she is running a secret Meth Lab underneath Maclarens. She ended up dying of some horrible disease called Badwriting, but not before killing Ted. Ted tells his kids the story as a zombie, and then ends up with Marshall.
2) James Franco proposed to 22 year old college student named Shannon- this was very shocking to everyone, but it just felt right. I mean we've never technically met, but he still proposed because we are obviously soul mates. The whole Instagram thing was just a cover up because he didn't want to go public about the engagement till I posted it here.
3) Science proves chocolate and sugary snacks are all better for you than vegetables- Yep, you heard it here. Vegetables are actually bad for you and chocolate reacts all your skinny muscles to make you healthier. Turns out everyone that said eating healthy was good for you was really just eating like crap! This is obviously true because you read it on the internet AND it was proven by science. Has to be true!
4) New Arrested Development/Community/ Breaking Bad crossover event to take place-yes there is a reason why both Mitch Hurwitz and Vince Gilligan were on Community this season and it's because of the most epic crossover of all time. Apparently there will be a Breaking Bad Christmas special in which Saul Goodman goes to Greendale Community College in order to earn a law degree. He instead meets Britta, falls in love and decides to become a Marriage Councilor. His first clients? Tobias and Lindsay Funke! That's all we know so far, but it sounds fairly epic.
5) Kate Upton Marries Nicolas Cage in secret ceremony- Wow.... That's a weird couple if I've ever
heard one. I mean I love Nicolas Cage and I have a resentful woman crush on Kate Upton but damn! That's frisking weird! The two married on a flaming motorcycle. They will spend their honeymoon looking for the Declaration of Independence and kidnapping the president and somehow won't get in legal trouble for either crime. This is Upton's first marriage and Cage's third I believe. He is currently still married to another woman.
6) Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have announced race for president- guess I know who I'm voting
for in a few years. They decided to tell everyone that they were running incredibly early because it is proven that the first week of April is an incredible time for totally believable news stories like this one.
7) Twerking is officially declared illegal in United States- Finally! I mean, it's about damn time they've banned this shit. It's now punishable by decapitation... So I'm guessing the next Step Up movie will have Sean Bean as it's star. Miley Cyrus commented that she is now only touring in
Canada... Whelp that's what they get for giving us Bieber.
8) Justin Bieber arrested for being a butthead - Speak of the devil! Cops just arrested him because they felt like it. Apparently his daughter couldn't stop playing "Baby" over and over again. The cop
just said that the Biebs just needed some time in prison and no one really objected because he was
being such a butthead!
9) Archeologists dig up evidence pointing to the existence of Pokemon- little has been confirmed about this story yet, as the government still doesn't want us to know this for some reason... But it is believed that a Pokeball has been found and a Squirtle-like figure is out on the loose somewhere. There have been reports about a blue turtle all day all over New Jersey. Although I have yet to see this turtle I do believe I saw a mouse that looked quite a bit like Pikachu right before it started thundering... Will report more on this as it develops.
10) I just wrote 9 obvious lies and posted them in a blog because YOLO- April Fool's! Haha I thought I'd wait until later in the week for a little prankage on the blog. I also started writing the James Franco thing before the scandal, so it's funny how that worked out!
So tomorrow I will tell you guys what really happened this week, but until then my friends... Stay classy!
Byeeeeee!!!
- Shannon
2) James Franco proposed to 22 year old college student named Shannon- this was very shocking to everyone, but it just felt right. I mean we've never technically met, but he still proposed because we are obviously soul mates. The whole Instagram thing was just a cover up because he didn't want to go public about the engagement till I posted it here.
3) Science proves chocolate and sugary snacks are all better for you than vegetables- Yep, you heard it here. Vegetables are actually bad for you and chocolate reacts all your skinny muscles to make you healthier. Turns out everyone that said eating healthy was good for you was really just eating like crap! This is obviously true because you read it on the internet AND it was proven by science. Has to be true!
4) New Arrested Development/Community/ Breaking Bad crossover event to take place-yes there is a reason why both Mitch Hurwitz and Vince Gilligan were on Community this season and it's because of the most epic crossover of all time. Apparently there will be a Breaking Bad Christmas special in which Saul Goodman goes to Greendale Community College in order to earn a law degree. He instead meets Britta, falls in love and decides to become a Marriage Councilor. His first clients? Tobias and Lindsay Funke! That's all we know so far, but it sounds fairly epic.
5) Kate Upton Marries Nicolas Cage in secret ceremony- Wow.... That's a weird couple if I've ever
heard one. I mean I love Nicolas Cage and I have a resentful woman crush on Kate Upton but damn! That's frisking weird! The two married on a flaming motorcycle. They will spend their honeymoon looking for the Declaration of Independence and kidnapping the president and somehow won't get in legal trouble for either crime. This is Upton's first marriage and Cage's third I believe. He is currently still married to another woman.
6) Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have announced race for president- guess I know who I'm voting
for in a few years. They decided to tell everyone that they were running incredibly early because it is proven that the first week of April is an incredible time for totally believable news stories like this one.
7) Twerking is officially declared illegal in United States- Finally! I mean, it's about damn time they've banned this shit. It's now punishable by decapitation... So I'm guessing the next Step Up movie will have Sean Bean as it's star. Miley Cyrus commented that she is now only touring in
Canada... Whelp that's what they get for giving us Bieber.
8) Justin Bieber arrested for being a butthead - Speak of the devil! Cops just arrested him because they felt like it. Apparently his daughter couldn't stop playing "Baby" over and over again. The cop
just said that the Biebs just needed some time in prison and no one really objected because he was
being such a butthead!
9) Archeologists dig up evidence pointing to the existence of Pokemon- little has been confirmed about this story yet, as the government still doesn't want us to know this for some reason... But it is believed that a Pokeball has been found and a Squirtle-like figure is out on the loose somewhere. There have been reports about a blue turtle all day all over New Jersey. Although I have yet to see this turtle I do believe I saw a mouse that looked quite a bit like Pikachu right before it started thundering... Will report more on this as it develops.
10) I just wrote 9 obvious lies and posted them in a blog because YOLO- April Fool's! Haha I thought I'd wait until later in the week for a little prankage on the blog. I also started writing the James Franco thing before the scandal, so it's funny how that worked out!
So tomorrow I will tell you guys what really happened this week, but until then my friends... Stay classy!
Byeeeeee!!!
- Shannon
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