This kind of goes hand in hand with being nice to people. I feel like compliments are always a super helpful thing, and this may just be my personal views on it... but I have gotten a lot of bad compliments and they've been hurtful. So here are my little tips for complimenting someone.
1) DO NOT COMPARE A GIRL TO ANOTHER GIRL YOU KNOW- I've once gotten the compliment "ohhh Shannon you look so skinny I thought you were your sister." I know the person that said this was just being nice and she thought that she was giving me a really great compliment... and I guess it was nice, but it kind of made me feel like shit too. Girls don't like getting compared to other girls because then we'll just think we aren't as pretty as other girl.
2) Be careful when saying someone looks like a celebrity- This can be very tricky. Know what celebrity you are talking about. Think "ohhh would I like to be compared to said celebrity" if so yes. It is acceptable for someone to say "ohh you look like Zooey Deschannel in that pic" but not so much "ohh you look like Michael Jackson." Yes these have both happened to me. I look noting like Zooey Deschannel or Michael Jackson... and as much as I like Michael Jackson, I don't exactly want to be told I look like him. But I do understand what the person meant and I did kind of look like Michael Jackson in the picture (I have curly hair, it was tied in a ponytail and blowing in the wind in a Michael Jackson-esque fashion. Plus I had sunglasses on.) So I guess that was kind of a good compliment... but still. Something everyone should be careful of.
If you know someone doesn't like said celebrity than don't tell them they look like that person. I feel like I made this mistake once when it was Doppleganger week on facebook... but I think it worked out. They should bring that back! lol.
3) The more specific the compliment, the more it looks like you're paying attention to that person- I love a good specific compliment. More than just an "ohh you look nice" but "oh wow that shirt looks good on you" or something of the sort. I really like "ohh is that (insert clothing item here) new?" A lot of times it's not new at all, which may contradict my whole "paying attention" thing, but that further affirms that for some reason you look extra good today. Idk it's just something I like.
4) Complimenting guys is much different than complimenting girls- From what I've noticed, if you compliment a guy a lot of time it boosts his ego just a bit. This is different for most girls because a lot of girls tend to not know how to take compliments. This kind of sounds sexist now that I'm typing it, but it's not its just something I've noticed about a lot of girls I know and a lot of guys I know. Sometimes a compliment boosts my ego wayyy too much too. I'll be totally honest if a stranger, usually a guy likes my instagram posts, I will look at his profile. Not really stalker-y I don't want a relationship with this person, I don't even want to meet this person I just like knowing the type of people that like my pictures. And male or female, if you are interesting enough I will follow you back. Anyway- that was a little off topic, but something that should be mentioned. Point is, try to find the middle ground. Don't be totally "ohh I love myself I know I'm beautiful" but also don't be too bashful about it either. Always thank a person because that's just polite. And yeah.
5) Don't ever backhand compliment someone- If someone gives me a backhanded compliment, I hide it, but I am literally the most furious I will ever be. Compliments are meant for good, not evil. If you don't like a person and don't think they look good, just don't say anything to their face (talk about them behind their back if you must. lol. It sounds bad, but it happens... and the only person who's opinion should matter is your own anyway.) Compliments are meant for good not evil, so just make sure they all come from the heart.
6) If a friend doesn't look good in something, let them know kindly- This goes in the range of compliments because I think you should give a compliment after telling a friend this. If a friend is trying something on that just doesn't look good in them. Not all the things look good on all people, and there is no shame in telling someone that they just don't look good in something. I would say something like "ohhh honey that color isn't great for you" or "I just don't think this highlights your best features" or something like that. I'm not someone that handles constructive criticism very well, or gives constructive criticism very well, but I can handle this. You will not hurt your friends feelings at all and you will help save them money on a clothing item or something that isn't for them.
This is something that you have to be more careful about depending on how well you know someone. Just do this very delicately and you should be fine. If you work in retail and you're helping a customer, try to recommend someone else something. Don't kill someone's confidence, you can totally build someone's confidence, just be very delicate, but get your opinion across.
That is it. I've gotten some really bad compliments and it can really make you feel shitty about yourself. These are ways to avoid that and again help be nice to people.
1) DO NOT COMPARE A GIRL TO ANOTHER GIRL YOU KNOW- I've once gotten the compliment "ohhh Shannon you look so skinny I thought you were your sister." I know the person that said this was just being nice and she thought that she was giving me a really great compliment... and I guess it was nice, but it kind of made me feel like shit too. Girls don't like getting compared to other girls because then we'll just think we aren't as pretty as other girl.
2) Be careful when saying someone looks like a celebrity- This can be very tricky. Know what celebrity you are talking about. Think "ohhh would I like to be compared to said celebrity" if so yes. It is acceptable for someone to say "ohh you look like Zooey Deschannel in that pic" but not so much "ohh you look like Michael Jackson." Yes these have both happened to me. I look noting like Zooey Deschannel or Michael Jackson... and as much as I like Michael Jackson, I don't exactly want to be told I look like him. But I do understand what the person meant and I did kind of look like Michael Jackson in the picture (I have curly hair, it was tied in a ponytail and blowing in the wind in a Michael Jackson-esque fashion. Plus I had sunglasses on.) So I guess that was kind of a good compliment... but still. Something everyone should be careful of.
If you know someone doesn't like said celebrity than don't tell them they look like that person. I feel like I made this mistake once when it was Doppleganger week on facebook... but I think it worked out. They should bring that back! lol.
3) The more specific the compliment, the more it looks like you're paying attention to that person- I love a good specific compliment. More than just an "ohh you look nice" but "oh wow that shirt looks good on you" or something of the sort. I really like "ohh is that (insert clothing item here) new?" A lot of times it's not new at all, which may contradict my whole "paying attention" thing, but that further affirms that for some reason you look extra good today. Idk it's just something I like.
4) Complimenting guys is much different than complimenting girls- From what I've noticed, if you compliment a guy a lot of time it boosts his ego just a bit. This is different for most girls because a lot of girls tend to not know how to take compliments. This kind of sounds sexist now that I'm typing it, but it's not its just something I've noticed about a lot of girls I know and a lot of guys I know. Sometimes a compliment boosts my ego wayyy too much too. I'll be totally honest if a stranger, usually a guy likes my instagram posts, I will look at his profile. Not really stalker-y I don't want a relationship with this person, I don't even want to meet this person I just like knowing the type of people that like my pictures. And male or female, if you are interesting enough I will follow you back. Anyway- that was a little off topic, but something that should be mentioned. Point is, try to find the middle ground. Don't be totally "ohh I love myself I know I'm beautiful" but also don't be too bashful about it either. Always thank a person because that's just polite. And yeah.
5) Don't ever backhand compliment someone- If someone gives me a backhanded compliment, I hide it, but I am literally the most furious I will ever be. Compliments are meant for good, not evil. If you don't like a person and don't think they look good, just don't say anything to their face (talk about them behind their back if you must. lol. It sounds bad, but it happens... and the only person who's opinion should matter is your own anyway.) Compliments are meant for good not evil, so just make sure they all come from the heart.
6) If a friend doesn't look good in something, let them know kindly- This goes in the range of compliments because I think you should give a compliment after telling a friend this. If a friend is trying something on that just doesn't look good in them. Not all the things look good on all people, and there is no shame in telling someone that they just don't look good in something. I would say something like "ohhh honey that color isn't great for you" or "I just don't think this highlights your best features" or something like that. I'm not someone that handles constructive criticism very well, or gives constructive criticism very well, but I can handle this. You will not hurt your friends feelings at all and you will help save them money on a clothing item or something that isn't for them.
This is something that you have to be more careful about depending on how well you know someone. Just do this very delicately and you should be fine. If you work in retail and you're helping a customer, try to recommend someone else something. Don't kill someone's confidence, you can totally build someone's confidence, just be very delicate, but get your opinion across.
That is it. I've gotten some really bad compliments and it can really make you feel shitty about yourself. These are ways to avoid that and again help be nice to people.
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