So... don't take this too seriously. I'm going to rant a little bit about things that are just kind of mildly annoying... just cause I think it'll be funny. So if you get offended by things and I make fun of something you might get offended by this... I'm not apologizing. If you can't take a joke I feel bad for you. If you're reading something you get offended by... maybe do something better with your life.
So I'm channeling my inner Lewis Black... come on, you know you have one... and just writing about small complaints like they are the worst thing in the world. And I think I'm gonna keep up with this series. Lol.
Perfect
First off... One Directions song Perfect... okay This song is good enough, I think the One D guys are actually pretty talented. But let's listen to the words... shall we?
"But if you like causing trouble in Hotel Rooms. And if you like having secret little rendezvous. If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do. Then baby I'm Perfect. Baby, I'm perfect for you."
So if she likes sex, you're perfect for her? I think you're probably perfect for most people then! And that pisses me off about boy band lyrics. They are so generic that they apply to every person in the world, so if you're a young girl or boy and you have a crush on One Direction you'll think "ohhh my gosh I'm so perfect for them" because they tell such vague statements! They should come up with something really specific. That's what I'm going to do.
"But if you like broke girls that spend too much money on makeup. And you don't steal food, but you share your entrees. And if you like comedy podcasts... Then baby I'm perfect for you."
So yeah. If you're looking for an unemployed girl that won't share her cool ranch doritos with you... hmu.
Adele
I don't really hate Adele... I see why people like her and stuff... but I feel like I'm always cornered into sounding bitchy whenever someone asks me about Adele because I'm just not into her.
"Ohhh did you hear the new Adele CD? Its Amazing?"
"No... not really into Adele."
And most people do ask about this... and I really have no other response and I feel like I sound totally uninterested and I know Adele is probably the greatest singer of my lifetime... I know. But its not like she's Lady Gaga or Fall Out Boy... lol. Stop making me sound like an ass because of your talent!
The "Kylie Jenner" ing of Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence
I LOVE Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence. I think they are 2 of the most talented, funny and witty actresses out there. I'm excited that they are friends and I'm happy they're going to write a movie together. You can totally see me at the movies the first day it comes out... I'm excited I know its going to be amazing... I'm with you guys there.
But ever since they became friends... they're all everyone is talking about. And not just individually. People like reporters and stuff always ask Amy about Jen and vice versa. And you know what... same with Bradley Cooper and Jen! Its insane. These people are all interesting and talented individually. I'm happy for their friendship... but you don't need to keep asking them about one another. Its weird. And I get it #squadgoals and everything to be in that group... but why not just ask them about themselves!
And it does sort of effect their jobs too. I saw Amy Schumer live after she became super popular and people in the audience were just screaming celebrity names at her like "Jennifer Lawrence" and "Madonna." And Amy responded really well to the sort of heckling... and that made me like her even more.
But yeah. I feel like they're "Kylie Jenner" ing them... which means to only talk about them all day every day. I saw an article that they finished writing their movie... which is great, but it still takes a long time for a movie to get made. Even with big names like Lawrence and Schumer behind it. I was excited to find out that they were working on a movie... I'm happy its finished, but don't get too excited. It still won't be out for another year or 2 probably.
Also in my weekly wrap up I do mention the picture of Amy Schumers boyfriend that we have now seen... but I don't really talk about it. I didn't say "I wonder what Jennifer Lawrence thinks about him." Or "I wonder if she won't make her movie with Jennifer Lawrence so that she can have babies with him." Just "Ohhh, he's hot." And I wasn't expecting him to not be hot, but still, I like that he is hot. I like hot people. And if you like hot people, then baby I'm perfect for you! Lol. I'm going to do this joke all the time now.
This weeks episode of American Horror Story
I love American Horror Story... even though its pretty terrible now... but here is what I hated... and there are going to be some spoilers, so I'm sorry... but you've been warned.
Queenie came back to the show... and I was so sooo excited. I was like "hey, we get to see an old favorite character. We get to find out how the witches are doing. I can deal with this. Then they set it up so that Iris and Liz would kill Queenie... and I was like "meh... okay. I don't think they can because Queenie is a human voodoo doll. I think she'll be okay. And I was actively rooting against Liz Taylor, my favorite character because I wanted Queenie to live.
And then Angela Basset smells her and she's like "I smell a witch" and she tries to kill her because drinking the blood of a witch will make her stronger and then she'll be able to kill The Countess. But of corse she can't kill her because the Human Voodoo doll thing... but you know who can kill Queenie. A ghost and then March just steps in and offs her...
So... that sucks! It SUCKED! I don't really think its fair of American Horror Story to do that. Like you can't bring a character from another season back just to kill them off! That's not fair! Also they NEVER kill anyone off for good when they're in their own season... why not just kill them off then. If Queenie had died in Coven, I wouldn't have been nearly as upset as I am now! Its not fair... its just NOT FAIR.
I cut out a whole rant about Fuller house for this! Maybe I will rant about fuller house one day because its a rant worthy subject and it did mildly annoy me this week... but I know most people are excited for fuller house and me ranting won't really help. And it wasn't that funny of a rant. Lol.
This quiz that insisted I watch Gilmore Girls
There was a buzz feed quiz that said which show should you bingewatch based on your zodiac sign. I'm a libra and I got Gilmore Girls. I've watched Gilmore Girls. I don't like Gilmore Girls. Its like Adele to me. I get why people like it, but if you start talking to me about it I will be 100% disinterested because I have no desire to watch Gilmore Girls. I don't care if I'm a libra...I'd rather bingewatch Better Call Saul or Making a Murderer or Scream Queens for the 4th or 5th time. Or Friends for the 1,000,000th time.
DIY Organization tips
I'll admit, I've always thought about doing this but there's one drawback... THINGS FALL AND POWDER SHATTERS! On a talk show today they were talking about re-organizing your life and they suggested painting a board with magnetic paint and sticking magnets to the back of your makeup products for a DIY organizer... Yeah. I'm really gonna hang a $54 Urban Decay Naked Palette up so that it can fall and shatter and get powder all over my floor.
And all other DIY tips I've seen for organizing things are not that useful. Usually it still takes up kind of a lot of space and it only works for a few things... so no. Just figure out whatever way of organizing works best for you... and I would only recommend this magnetic makeup organizer thingy if you have the sturdiest of magnets. Cause TBH most are not that sturdy and I can see this causing a mess and a lot of money. If you have success with this way of storage... more power to you! I am just a mess and I know all of these would break all of my lovely makeup that I have collected so thoroughly.
If you have any actual useful tips for small space organization... share it with the class!
And The One Thing I'm excited About is...
There is a show called Time Travel Bong coming to comedy central... literally about a time traveling bong. I don't smoke, I don't encourage smoking... but I like movies like Harold and Kumar and I like Workaholics and Broad City... so for whatever reason this lines up with my sense of humor and I'm going to watch it. And Ilana Glazer is in it... and I love her. So yeah. This is a real thing that is happening on April 20th... again don't celebrate the day at all... but I feel like I'll watch this and eat bugles or fun ions or something because that seems like a thing. Its only 3 episodes long too, which I think is the perfect amount of time for this type of show to remain funny and interesting. You know there's going to be a scribbles about tv on this...
Hope you guys like this. What's pissing you off and what's exciting you. Share with the class!
Byeee!
-Shannon
So I'm channeling my inner Lewis Black... come on, you know you have one... and just writing about small complaints like they are the worst thing in the world. And I think I'm gonna keep up with this series. Lol.
Perfect
First off... One Directions song Perfect... okay This song is good enough, I think the One D guys are actually pretty talented. But let's listen to the words... shall we?
"But if you like causing trouble in Hotel Rooms. And if you like having secret little rendezvous. If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do. Then baby I'm Perfect. Baby, I'm perfect for you."
So if she likes sex, you're perfect for her? I think you're probably perfect for most people then! And that pisses me off about boy band lyrics. They are so generic that they apply to every person in the world, so if you're a young girl or boy and you have a crush on One Direction you'll think "ohhh my gosh I'm so perfect for them" because they tell such vague statements! They should come up with something really specific. That's what I'm going to do.
"But if you like broke girls that spend too much money on makeup. And you don't steal food, but you share your entrees. And if you like comedy podcasts... Then baby I'm perfect for you."
So yeah. If you're looking for an unemployed girl that won't share her cool ranch doritos with you... hmu.
Adele
I don't really hate Adele... I see why people like her and stuff... but I feel like I'm always cornered into sounding bitchy whenever someone asks me about Adele because I'm just not into her.
"Ohhh did you hear the new Adele CD? Its Amazing?"
"No... not really into Adele."
And most people do ask about this... and I really have no other response and I feel like I sound totally uninterested and I know Adele is probably the greatest singer of my lifetime... I know. But its not like she's Lady Gaga or Fall Out Boy... lol. Stop making me sound like an ass because of your talent!
The "Kylie Jenner" ing of Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence
I LOVE Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence. I think they are 2 of the most talented, funny and witty actresses out there. I'm excited that they are friends and I'm happy they're going to write a movie together. You can totally see me at the movies the first day it comes out... I'm excited I know its going to be amazing... I'm with you guys there.
But ever since they became friends... they're all everyone is talking about. And not just individually. People like reporters and stuff always ask Amy about Jen and vice versa. And you know what... same with Bradley Cooper and Jen! Its insane. These people are all interesting and talented individually. I'm happy for their friendship... but you don't need to keep asking them about one another. Its weird. And I get it #squadgoals and everything to be in that group... but why not just ask them about themselves!
And it does sort of effect their jobs too. I saw Amy Schumer live after she became super popular and people in the audience were just screaming celebrity names at her like "Jennifer Lawrence" and "Madonna." And Amy responded really well to the sort of heckling... and that made me like her even more.
But yeah. I feel like they're "Kylie Jenner" ing them... which means to only talk about them all day every day. I saw an article that they finished writing their movie... which is great, but it still takes a long time for a movie to get made. Even with big names like Lawrence and Schumer behind it. I was excited to find out that they were working on a movie... I'm happy its finished, but don't get too excited. It still won't be out for another year or 2 probably.
Also in my weekly wrap up I do mention the picture of Amy Schumers boyfriend that we have now seen... but I don't really talk about it. I didn't say "I wonder what Jennifer Lawrence thinks about him." Or "I wonder if she won't make her movie with Jennifer Lawrence so that she can have babies with him." Just "Ohhh, he's hot." And I wasn't expecting him to not be hot, but still, I like that he is hot. I like hot people. And if you like hot people, then baby I'm perfect for you! Lol. I'm going to do this joke all the time now.
This weeks episode of American Horror Story
I love American Horror Story... even though its pretty terrible now... but here is what I hated... and there are going to be some spoilers, so I'm sorry... but you've been warned.
Queenie came back to the show... and I was so sooo excited. I was like "hey, we get to see an old favorite character. We get to find out how the witches are doing. I can deal with this. Then they set it up so that Iris and Liz would kill Queenie... and I was like "meh... okay. I don't think they can because Queenie is a human voodoo doll. I think she'll be okay. And I was actively rooting against Liz Taylor, my favorite character because I wanted Queenie to live.
And then Angela Basset smells her and she's like "I smell a witch" and she tries to kill her because drinking the blood of a witch will make her stronger and then she'll be able to kill The Countess. But of corse she can't kill her because the Human Voodoo doll thing... but you know who can kill Queenie. A ghost and then March just steps in and offs her...
So... that sucks! It SUCKED! I don't really think its fair of American Horror Story to do that. Like you can't bring a character from another season back just to kill them off! That's not fair! Also they NEVER kill anyone off for good when they're in their own season... why not just kill them off then. If Queenie had died in Coven, I wouldn't have been nearly as upset as I am now! Its not fair... its just NOT FAIR.
I cut out a whole rant about Fuller house for this! Maybe I will rant about fuller house one day because its a rant worthy subject and it did mildly annoy me this week... but I know most people are excited for fuller house and me ranting won't really help. And it wasn't that funny of a rant. Lol.
This quiz that insisted I watch Gilmore Girls
There was a buzz feed quiz that said which show should you bingewatch based on your zodiac sign. I'm a libra and I got Gilmore Girls. I've watched Gilmore Girls. I don't like Gilmore Girls. Its like Adele to me. I get why people like it, but if you start talking to me about it I will be 100% disinterested because I have no desire to watch Gilmore Girls. I don't care if I'm a libra...I'd rather bingewatch Better Call Saul or Making a Murderer or Scream Queens for the 4th or 5th time. Or Friends for the 1,000,000th time.
DIY Organization tips
I'll admit, I've always thought about doing this but there's one drawback... THINGS FALL AND POWDER SHATTERS! On a talk show today they were talking about re-organizing your life and they suggested painting a board with magnetic paint and sticking magnets to the back of your makeup products for a DIY organizer... Yeah. I'm really gonna hang a $54 Urban Decay Naked Palette up so that it can fall and shatter and get powder all over my floor.
And all other DIY tips I've seen for organizing things are not that useful. Usually it still takes up kind of a lot of space and it only works for a few things... so no. Just figure out whatever way of organizing works best for you... and I would only recommend this magnetic makeup organizer thingy if you have the sturdiest of magnets. Cause TBH most are not that sturdy and I can see this causing a mess and a lot of money. If you have success with this way of storage... more power to you! I am just a mess and I know all of these would break all of my lovely makeup that I have collected so thoroughly.
If you have any actual useful tips for small space organization... share it with the class!
And The One Thing I'm excited About is...
There is a show called Time Travel Bong coming to comedy central... literally about a time traveling bong. I don't smoke, I don't encourage smoking... but I like movies like Harold and Kumar and I like Workaholics and Broad City... so for whatever reason this lines up with my sense of humor and I'm going to watch it. And Ilana Glazer is in it... and I love her. So yeah. This is a real thing that is happening on April 20th... again don't celebrate the day at all... but I feel like I'll watch this and eat bugles or fun ions or something because that seems like a thing. Its only 3 episodes long too, which I think is the perfect amount of time for this type of show to remain funny and interesting. You know there's going to be a scribbles about tv on this...
Hope you guys like this. What's pissing you off and what's exciting you. Share with the class!
Byeee!
-Shannon
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