Top 10 Dating Tips/ Suggestions

So I've been in a relationship for about 2 and a half years... but before that I was single... for a very long time. And I was on dating apps for about a year or so before that... so here's what I learned from those apps. If you want more specific relationship advice I have from being in a relationship... that one might be a little harder but I guess I could do a blog on that too? Idk... I'm not an expert but I think I have some good tips. 

Find an App That Works For You 

I feel like not all apps work for everyone. I started on Bumble- and I like the app. I love the idea of girls taking the first move- but... I HATE making the first move apparently. So I would just match with a bunch of guys... and never really knew what to talk about. Plus I like having A LOT of info in my bio and Bumble just doesn't give enough space for me. I only went out with 1 guy from Bumble I think and it was bad. 

So after that I tried Coffee Meets Bagel... which is terrible. Maybe depending on where you live it's better... but I'm pretty sure that no real people messaged me on that site. I think they were all bots that messaged me... and it was weird. There aren't a lot of people on that app in my area I'm guessing... so maybe if you live in a big city or something it might work... but I never talked to anyone on the app and... I just don't know about it. I also think it was confusing to use. I barely remember how it works... so yeah. That's not good. 

OK Cupid was the app that worked for me! I think I ended up going out with 5 guys and I talked to a bunch of guys... and most of the conversations were pretty chill and easy. I didn't always talk to them more than one time but... it was still fun! 1 of the guys was obviously my perfect guy, 2 were nice... 2 were not that nice... but yeah! 

The Type of Guys to Swipe Left On... 

It's been a while since I've used dating apps... so I had to google which way you swiped on the people you don't like... but here's my #1 BIGGEST PET PEEVE of ANYONE on a dating app. 

If a guy says "Message Me First Because I don't have Premium." ... That bothers me. 

1) I'm a grown ass woman... I don't like men telling me what to do. 

2) I also don't have premium so message me first please. 

3) If he's not going to pay for premium and wants you to message him first- you're going to be splitting the bill and he's still going to want a kiss or something at the end of the night. NOPE. That's a no from me dog. 

If you're a guy DO NOT PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE. Just grow a pair and message the lady first. I can't explain how angry this makes me still. 

And I'm fine with splitting the bill on a first date... but still. Don't date this type of guy. 

There are also some guys that don't have their real name on the site... and you probably don't want to talk to those guys... but sometimes they're cute and it happens. There was someone with a really cheesy name that I messaged because I thought it was funny and he was cute... so I just messaged him. I only had a brief convo with him and he seemed sleezy- but he did say his real name right away... which I guess is the way to do that. 

And you'll probably see a lot of these guys on dating apps because they're all single cause girls don't fall for that s*** Lol. 

You don't owe anyone anything 

If you're not into someone... don't talk to them. If you don't want to meet up with them- don't meet up with them. I don't think it's wrong to ghost people- you don't know who's on your other side of your phone... if you get a bad vibe or you're just not into them... don't waste your time on them. Just ghost them. Block them if their persistent. 

I talked to a guy for a while that seemed harmless and I wasn't into him at all... but I thought why not meet up with him- I owe him that... and when I went out with him I realized I didn't owe him anything. And then when I told him I met someone else and didn't want to see him again... he messaged me something gross... so YOU ARE A QUEEN OR A KING AND YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE ANYTHING! 

And if you think you might owe them a second chance... no. If you're not into them- you're not into them. I know guys have done this to me and it probably sucks... but you're either a match or you're not and you don't need to waste anyone's time. Doesn't make you a terrible person... just know what you want. It's different if you want to give them a second chance on your own... but you don't owe anyone ANYTHING! 

I talked to everyone... 

I'm not sure if I were to do everything all over again if I'd do the same thing... but I'm going to mention it anyway because... why not. Anyone that messaged me... I talked to. I figured why not? I might meet someone I like- I don't have to meet up with them if I don't like them... and I can just block them if they get annoying. 

But if I didn't talk to everyone- I don't know that I would have talked to my boyfriend. He was on the younger side of the ages I had set on my profile, he only had one blurry picture and we were only a 78 percent match... but his profile was really cute, he commented on the show that I had last watched on Netflix- which at the time was Aggretsuko... and his profile was just funny and cute. So of corse I talked to him. 

But... there are other people... I wished I didn't even give one answer to. One time someone messaged me saying "because of work I don't really have time for a relationship so I just want a friend with benefits." And I said "No. I'd like to get to know someone first." And he just kept pestering me that he didn't have time for a relationship and he just wanted friends with benefits and my profile said I was looking for a relationship... like dude... go find someone else. He wasn't fun to talk to at all, he wasn't good looking really... like there was NOTHING this guy had going for him and he just kept pestering me and I was like "who does this guy think he is." And I blocked him. So like... that's annoying and that's the downside of giving everyone a chance. Most people won't hold a conversation that well and that's okay- you can kind of just ghost them and then if you're bored one day message them again or something. 

Talking to everyone also kind of boosted my confidence... which can be a double edged sword. You might think people are way more into you than they are... you might talk to too many people and get confused... or it just might not work. Confidence is always better... but don't get cocky! 

Be The Bachelorette 

I'm not going to lie... this was fun. So I had talked to a few guys I was interested in and I just decided to go out on a date with all of them... and it just happened to be in the same week. My boyfriend's date was actually a week earlier and it was our second date that week... and I was like already in love. I don't think I knew it then but guys... my boyfriend is really lovable so it just kind of worked out that way. I didn't know I was in love with him- but he definitely stuck out to me and I knew his heart was important to me and I didn't want to be without him and I didn't want to hurt him... so that's when I sort of knew he was my guy. No one else gave me those types of feelings- and I'm not sure I've ever had those feelings early on. 

Anyway... I kind of only did that because I had been watching Bachelor in Paradise... so I guess that helped... but don't take any serious love advice from The Bachelor or Bachelor in Paradise... this is just a rare instance where it worked... but it was fun for me anyway lol. 

But yeah- play the field a little bit... but know when to stop... and again- don't get cocky! 

Alright... I think that is everything. I feel like I had too much fun with this post... but I've had this in my head for a while and just needed some time to write it all down. 

Bye! 

-Shannon