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13 Nights of Blogoween Day 13: Couple Costumes and Sexy Lobsters Have Ruined Halloween

I wrote this blog last year on November First... I'm not bitter about being single or not wearing sexy costumes... Its just a commentary meant to be taken lightly. 

Alrighty so this isn't really a rant... its just kind of a theory that couples have decided to take every holiday and make it their own and then single people are here like "Okay, we get it. You're happy. Can you leave us alone now? KThanks." And now they've ruined halloween.

Maybe this is just me being old but still not grown up enough to be in a real relationship... but seriously go to a bar on Halloween. There are like 10 Harley Quinns, 6 sexy lobsters, 3 Maleficents, one sexy minotaur and then the rest are all couples. If you find a character you're attracted to like Han Solo, you'll look around and find a Princess Leia right behind him!

And they're always RIGHT by them, you know why?  So they don't run off with a sexy lobster! Its a way to trick a guy into thinking that you're doing something cool, but really you're trying to ward off all the other girls from talking to him because that's right he's yours. You might as well take an iron and brand your name on his forehead!

But on the other hand, if you aren't doing a couples costume things can also go horribly wrong. Freshman year of college I was super hot and super skinny, which btw is totally a lie. I wasn't really that hot or skinny, but compared to me now... I was super hot and skinny. Wow that seems sad... I think my face and hair look better... but I was real cute back then. Anyway... back to the story.

So there was this guy that I was going to go to a party with and I was dressed all hot and he wore a scary mask... so we didn't match very well and yeah it looked awkward for me.

Also the guys that are single at bars are always dressed as something lame. Last year there was an Austin Powers... which would have been a cool costume if it was 1997... but it was far from that. So... yeah no. If you're dressed as Austin Powers or Borat... get updated on your comedy and dress as something better than that.

The one thing that the "grown up" halloweens have improved upon since college halloweens is there are less boner costumes. That really is the grossest thing in the entire world when there's a boner-themed costume. Ack. That's even worse than Austin Powers. If you think a guy with a boner costume is attractive, stop drinking. Just altogether, just give up drinking and get your life together. Unless its a dick in a box costume... that still makes me laugh.

And after saying all this if I ever do manage to be in a relationship on halloween, will I refuse a couple's costume... NO! Lol. I totally understand the necessity of them. I can't have my hypothetical man running away with a sexy lobster or something. I'm pretty sure I can't compete with that... although I'm sure that by dressing as a sexy lobster their trying to distract from the fact that they really have crabs. Lol.

Byeee! Have a fun and safe Halloween.
-Shannon

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