I read this book called The Four Agreements a little while ago, its by Don Miguel Ruiz and here are the discussion questions that went with it. I got these from his website... so yeah. I wrote this a while ago, and I didn't use the best grammar because I was doing it for a book club so I figured I'd just casually look at these to make my points... but I didn't end up doing that... so yeah.
"In The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz introduces the concept of “domestication.” What are some examples of how you were domesticated in your childhood? If you are a parent, are you aware of the ways in which you are domesticating your children?"
In school is mostly where I felt domesticated as a kid. There was a teacher that would never give me a sticker because I talked in class, and my mom was always really upset at that so my mom gave me stickers on my napkins at lunch. That was just one way that this teacher was saying "You are supposed to be one way" and my mom was just letting me know "It's okay to be 6."
2. "Don Miguel claims that the human mind is dreaming all the time. It dreams when the brain is asleep and it also dreams when the brain is awake. Do you agree with his assertion? Why or why not?"
Yes I agree with him because I’m always kind of dreaming of what things can be. And thinking more into the future. Like If I play the lottery, Maybe I’ll win and maybe I’ll buy all these nice things that I can't afford now and I can help people and do all these nice things. Its also impossible to see someone else's reality... so things get misunderstood and misinterpreted... so its hard to do.
3. "Describe what don Miguel means by the “image of perfection.” Why does this cause so much suffering? What is your image of perfection? How does this image affect your happiness?"
I think this has a lot to do with domestication. If someone is domesticated, they have an image of perfection that you can never live up to and that can cause a lot of unhappiness. I think about certain people that maybe I'm jealous of... or skinnier people than myself, smarter people... people that have it more "together."
4." The First Agreement is “Be Impeccable With Your Word.” Can you explain why this agreement is so powerful? Are you aware of the power of your word? What are some of the ways you’ve experienced the power of the word in your life?"
As a writer, I know the importance of words. I had the exact same experience as the example where they told the girl that she was a bad singer… and I was a pretty good singer, and now I can’t really sing in public. Believing what someone says of you is very easy to do in a negative or positive way. If I’m saying something like 2+2=5 and people say “Ohhh you’re right” just to make me feel better and be positive… that isn’t right either… but to say “NO you’re stupid” isn’t the right thing to say either. Taking the time to think of the words you’re saying is very important, and if you do that… people will likely like you better and you’ll like yourself better for it as well.
5. "The Second Agreement is “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” What are some of the ways you have taken things personally? Do you believe the opinions of others are more important than your own? Do you take it personally if someone disagrees with you?"
I do take things personally a lot of the time. I feel like this one is really hard not to and maybe that has more to do with a person’s acceptance of themselves. For example, like I said before when people did say I was a bad singer I became self conscious and maybe that has more to do with me being more of an introvert than an extrovert and maybe I didn’t want my singing to be the center of attention.People have called me ugly before too and maybe I’ve chosen not to take that personally because that is something I actually accept of myself. My image I mean is something I accept of myself. Lol. I know how I look and I'm happy with it, so I can accept that.
6. "The Third Agreement is “Don’t Make Assumptions.” Provide some examples of why making assumptions can cause so much suffering. Do you assume worst-case scenarios?"
Making assumptions can really lead to bad things. When they mentioned that everything is a dream, that makes a lot of sense to me. Like my sister is planning a wedding and we’ve kind of misinterpreted some ideas of her in the planning part. Like tonight she wanted photos and we thought she was doing a collage so we didn’t put them in frames… but she wanted them in frames…. just a small misunderstanding that didn’t really mean anything but things like that could be avoided.
7. "The Fourth Agreement is “Always Do Your Best.” What are some examples of how practicing this agreement would transform your life? Do you tend to push yourself too hard? Do you know when you’ve done your best?"
If you are always doing your best… you can be proud of yourself for whatever you do for your own reasons and that isn’t allowing anyone else to reflect you in a negative way. If I post a blog I don’t like, for example, maybe someone will comment and say “You’re an awful blogger!” And then I would feel bad about it, but really maybe it wasn’t the best blog that I could do and I could have avoided taking something personally if I just did my best. If I post this blog and I’m proud of it and someone says “You’re an awful blogger!” I know not to take it personally because I’m proud of the work that I did. Your best always changes… but you can’t do anything other than your best… so don’t just do the bare minimum… do your best. Don’t over reach… just do your best.
8. "The Four Agreements seem like common sense. Do you find it easy or difficult to practice these agreements? Has practicing one or more of the Four Agreements changed your life?"
I think its hard to live these laws. I would like to try my best… but not everyone does practice these beliefs and it is difficult to rationalize with other people.
Byeee!
-Shannon
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